Wanted to make a small post on this day, although we are just “celebrating” at home drinking coffee and watching a new five part documentary called “From Sápmi to Alaska”. It is about the Sámi reindeer herders who went from here in the late 1800s to help teach the natives living there about herding. Many stayed, some returned.
A very chill corona friendly celebration you could say 😊
It’s the last day of a very eventful January, and I am spending it curled up on our big sleeping couch with our newborn baby boy Ailo who is about 2 weeks old now, in his little baby nest and my partner who is sitting on the other end writing away on the computer. Outside, it’s already dark again. Polar night is officially over here but I have not seen the Sun yet. I am not outside so much, hardly at all as all time and energy is spent adjusting and taking care of this new amazing creation. I did however manage our first little walk with the pram!
Ailo is the diminutive form of the Sámi name Ásllat/Áslat (Aslak). It is also a family name on my side ❤ It fits him just elegantly, and since it has both Norse and Sámi origins, it is a perfect mix of me and his father’s heritage.
Life is new and different and surreal as parents. Giving birth was intense and hard work, and unfortunately not how I envisioned, but nontheless a very powerful experience. A rite of passage of sorts.. At one point during delivery I felt like I connected with all other Mothers giving birth naturally, experiencing the same pain at the exact same time. When he was born, there was an incredible silence and love that I have not experienced before 🤱🏻
January is also my birthday month, and this year I celebrated at home with my little family and my friend Katharina. 29; last year in my twenties, first year as a mama 🎉✨
“No sløkkes en dag som så vidt rakk å gråne og vise fram landet ei skjømmingsblå stund og gjømt attom fjellan i aust står en måne som snart skal strø sølv over fjorda og sund. I sør ligg ei strime av lys over tindan der dagen blør ut før han slokne førr godt og vi står igjen med oss sjøl og med minnan i mørketidslyset der allting blir blått.
Så kom og vær nær meg – vær sol i desember når midtvinterstanka tar rom i mitt sinn førr året må føle sin kurs og kalender og stian blir tungtrødd når lyset førsvinn. Men hold meg i handa og lær meg å vente på solkvervingstimen då allting skal snu. I mørketidslyset e varme å hente førr den som har mot tel å trosse og tru.
Ja, streif mine strenga og løys i meg tonen tel landet som kvile ved midtvinterstid la mørketids-tankan og haust-depresjonen få vike førr strofe av blå poesi. Vi leve med rest av en sommar i minne i lengting mot daga vi ikkje har fått men kjem du meg nær skal vi solvarmen finne i mørketidslyset der allting blir blått.” – Helge Stangnes 💙💛🧡
Each day is getting closer to meeting our son. With the corona situation, we have been unfortunate in not getting the help and support we needed from the beginning, but as the birth is right around the corner, we have finally found a midwife that we can call and ask questions any time. We even got a little “tour” of the delivery room, which helped a lot. Getting a visual of where it will all happen and my options on how to deliver him. I have decided on a waterbirth (which I had no idea was an option here!), but plans may change of course.
I am excited to say I am looking forward to meeting him more than I am scared now (which has been the main feeling until recently), and to witness the incredible innate power the female body posesses of giving life to another being. It’s quite amazing; my body has just grown this new human on its own, and I have done nothing actively to make him grow. I have just been fortunate to be his home for all this time, and feeling both proud and nervous to “share” him with the world.
My thoughts are the same regarding the birth itself. Body will know how to birth him with the help of contractions and surges – or waves as I like to see them 🌊🌊🌊 I cannot think of a more natural thing than birthing. I imagine it will be beyond any physical pain I have ever experienced. And I do expect both tearing and other issues. But I also imagine it will be the most empowering experience I can have as a woman, as the hormones and biology takes over, and I get to be right in the eye of that storm and join the millions and billions of mothers who have given birth before me. “All” I have to do is stay present and breathe into every sensation. Body will know what to do. It was literally built for this to happen.
I recently learned about the Ferguson reflex (also known as the foetal ejection reflex), which is:
“The neuroendocrine reflex comprising the self-sustaining cycle of uterine contractions initiated by pressure at the cervix or vaginal walls. It is an example of positive feedback in biology. The Ferguson reflex occurs in mammals.
Upon application of pressure to the internal end of the cervix, oxytocin is released (therefore increase in contractile proteins), which stimulates uterine contractions, which in turn increases pressure on the cervix (thereby increasing oxytocin release, etc.), until the baby is delivered.”
It’s great to know about this innate reflex. It works almost like a vomiting reflex, ejecting baby out. So, in any case, baby will come out one way or another, no matter the approach I choose. It is and has been a bit like navigating a jungle trying to find out how I wish to do my own personal pregnancy, and it will be a challenge to go with the flow during delivery.
I have been very adamant that I will use and need an epidural, if being in water will not work for me. I think it would be of great help to deal with the pain. But the downsides of this drug is bugging me a lot lately. It will make me quite immobile, have me on my back working against gravity and I will need a midwife/nurse to tell when to push. Which will also increase my risk of tearing as I will not feel anything. Being upright in a squatting position makes more sense to me, and it will maybe make it easier for him to find his way out. But again, we will see when the day comes! 🙂 One thing is for certain though, I want to try the gas and air (nitrous oxide) they offer 😄✌🏻
Have you given birth? What was your experience, and would you do it again?
How is the last days of this year going for you? For me, they are spent in bed, as baby boy belly is growing and the extra weight and symptoms keeps me still. As I have shared before, I have chronic fatigue, so this is quite the job for the body 🤘🏻 Slow days but good opportunity for meditation and contemplation, and preparing as much as possible for the physical and emotional ordeal that is soon to come. Child birth seems like this big abstract thing only other people do, but it is becoming more and more real for me every day as we are getting close to due date. Being a home for another being for almost 9 months now has been the hardest, most heart opening and tear filled journey ❤💙💚💛
Come see my little exhibition of 13 paintings at Magic Ice Tromsø ❄ Most paintings are for sale 🙏🏻 They also have the cosiest tiny coffee place there, an impressive ice sculpture gallery by Lithuanian artists and a cocktail bar – all ice, even the glasses ☃️🥂🌌
Traditional sámi wool shawl by NativeInNorway, Nordkjosbotn, Balsfjors.
The sun is going below the horizon for two months in not many weeks and Polar night begins. I actually like the Polar night. Maybe I am just used to it growing up here or there is something nostalgic about it but there is a paradoxal warmth and safety in this dark period and snowy blanket that covers everything. Every winter you can see especially two constallations in the night sky. Little Bear and Big Bear. I remember being a kid, dressing up in my warmest clothes and shoes, go outside and completely incase my little self in compressed snow as tightly as possible and stare at the constallations for hours. It’s said that the Arctic is named after the greek word for bear, Arktos. Maybe there is a connection there.
Some things I truly believe are yours to keep, that no one can take from you:
Your spiritual practice. In my case, it is vajrayana buddhism. It has saved my life in many ways – both in dealing with chronic illness, but also the normal existential stuff like finding purpose and joy 🙂🙏🏼📿
Your ambitions and dreams (if they come from a place of pure motivation and love). In my case now, it has been starting a little family with children 💜🤱
Your ethnicity and ancestry, no matter how lost or scattered it is in this modern world. In my case from my personal experience, I feel very connected to my home in the Arctic and being uralic/finno-ugric (sámi). I didn’t as a kid and teenager, at all, but now as I am older, I feel like I can “own” it more. I don’t speak any of the uralic languages, and feel a sadness about this. A disconnection from my own culture. And a feeling of not belonging to a community, when they can’t speak to me. I hope my son will not feel as disconnected. But I have found other ways to express this – primarily through art and duodji. Not all languages are of verbal nature, but are equally important, I think. 🎨
Your creativity. Not necessarily arts, but anything you find a solution to that involves stepping out of the habitual intellectual mind and into a state of spontaneity and flow.🌊
Your struggles. This sounds negative, but for me I mean that my struggles are valid. I have a body that has its big share of physical problems, and I don’t mean to whine. At all! 🙂 Just to express that this is my reality, and that chronic (perhaps invisible to others) illness can happen to anyone, any time in life.💙
Your love. This one sounds cheesy but I think we all can feel love and that we have love as a basic human need. To receive it and give it. And we all have different ways of showing it. I like giving gifts for example.. but am not so good verbally expressing how I feel. I like receiving kind loving deeds, but not to be smothered. So understanding how we show it differently is important too. I also believe that as humans we have the capacity to love many at the same time. Whether it is friends or partners, plural. Romantic, familial or platonic.❤
“The buddha, the dharma and sangha are the triple gems of the spiritual life beyond the bounds of this world. … Humility is the moisture or fertilizer from which devotion will grow. To help that devotion grow, remember the following: Your friends, family, identity or projects, big or small, will not provide you with the fundamental basis necessary for bliss and happiness. Absolutely everything around you is impermanent, even your body, and while you can be sure you will die, you can have no certainty about when, where or how. The people with whom you associate, who accompany you through this life, will all eventually lead you to pain. All your relationships are temporary. When you check into a hotel you don’t immediately think that you’ll spend eternity with the managers, maids and waiters. Your home, your friends, your ideals and values are just part of a hotel experience. Sooner or later you will have to check out and leave them all behind.”
– Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
I don’t think this is a negative quote or way to look at things, although it sounds negative at first! Remembering impermanence is a good motivator for making the best of life and our time here.
Lowcarb chocolate muffins (from one of those easy to make packages) 😋🙌🏼 Also, look at the beautiful Latvian cup coasters of traditional woven belts 😁 they make me smile. And remind me to maybe do some more weaving myself 🤷🏻♀️
Hadde en helt plutselig solfylt høstdag for cirka en uke siden. Våkna opp uten migrene i tillegg! Så da ble det en gåtur i finværet. Tok noen bilder med mobilen. Tror det var nærmere 20°c den dagen, det er jo tropisk her nord 😁🙏🏼
Sommeren er på hell, og jeg ser tilbake på en begivenhetsrik sommer, til tross for at jeg har vært mest hjemme. Vært heldig med været i juli, nå er det august og kveldene er mørke igjen, midnattssola er borte og det er på tide på finne frem stearinlysene.
Did you know only around 30% of the whole sámi population speaks/write one of the sámi languages today? The longlasting banning of the languages caused identity crisis for many, but I am happy it is changing slowly 🐢 I feel proud to be part of the generation that is reviving our own culture, with not only language but art, clothing and music too 💚
It’s unrealistic and a bit dillusional to think that you will get along with everyone and that everyone will like you. The important thing is that you like you. There can’t be as many versions of you as there are people you meet. There can only be one, and that version of you will always be the realest, most authentic one without fail. Whatever makes you weird and wonderful is your strength. 🌹🛸✨
An awesome scene the artist paints, expert and deft his hand. Brush strokes swift, he draws with ease, a winter wonderland. Landscape sketched from memory, heavens and land entwine Rapidly the scene is set, exquisitely divine.
Pine trees reaching tall and proud, like statues standing still. There is no wind to speak of, more an icy winter chill. Strong branches dusted with the snow stretch their fingers high As if welcoming the blanket bequeathed by the darkened sky.
Crisp snowflakes twirl like dancers, pirouetting to and fro, Waltzing to their silent tune toward the ground below. Pale moonlight generously showers diamonds all around. Its treasure glints and sparkles upon the hardened ground.
Snowfall in shades of silver envelops the land below, Lighting up the darkness with its soothing, gentle glow. Mellow in its nature, no preference where it lays, Takes refuge where and when it can, throughout the winter days.
Though bereft of colour is the scene, prevailing grey and white, Its awe inspiring beauty is apparent day and night. Who nonchalantly paints this scene, for all on earth to share? His strokes proficient every time, precise and so aware. Jack Frost paints wondrous pictures with his palette of frozen dew, Then stands back when his work is done and proudly admires the view.
Just updated my domain and header. All in all, still the same blog with same content; art, photography, occasional personal thoughts and ideas, adventures, health related stuff and maybe some tantra/dharma. The name Ask the mountains comes from my favourite song by greek artist Vangelis and swedish singer Stina Nordenstam.