Benytter siste sjanse av ordentlig dagslys for å få et fint bilde av bolla ❤ Nå forsvinner snart sola til i neste år, men når ho kommer tilbake, så er du her 🤱
Some things I truly believe are yours to keep, that no one can take from you:
Your spiritual practice. In my case, it is vajrayana buddhism. It has saved my life in many ways – both in dealing with chronic illness, but also the normal existential stuff like finding purpose and joy 🙂🙏🏼📿
Your ambitions and dreams (if they come from a place of pure motivation and love). In my case now, it has been starting a little family with children 💜🤱
Your ethnicity and ancestry, no matter how lost or scattered it is in this modern world. In my case from my personal experience, I feel very connected to my home in the Arctic and being uralic/finno-ugric (sámi). I didn’t as a kid and teenager, at all, but now as I am older, I feel like I can “own” it more. I don’t speak any of the uralic languages, and feel a sadness about this. A disconnection from my own culture. And a feeling of not belonging to a community, when they can’t speak to me. I hope my son will not feel as disconnected. But I have found other ways to express this – primarily through art and duodji. Not all languages are of verbal nature, but are equally important, I think. 🎨
Your creativity. Not necessarily arts, but anything you find a solution to that involves stepping out of the habitual intellectual mind and into a state of spontaneity and flow.🌊
Your struggles. This sounds negative, but for me I mean that my struggles are valid. I have a body that has its big share of physical problems, and I don’t mean to whine. At all! 🙂 Just to express that this is my reality, and that chronic (perhaps invisible to others) illness can happen to anyone, any time in life.💙
Your love. This one sounds cheesy but I think we all can feel love and that we have love as a basic human need. To receive it and give it. And we all have different ways of showing it. I like giving gifts for example.. but am not so good verbally expressing how I feel. I like receiving kind loving deeds, but not to be smothered. So understanding how we show it differently is important too. I also believe that as humans we have the capacity to love many at the same time. Whether it is friends or partners, plural. Romantic, familial or platonic.❤
You don’t need to be vegetarian or vegan to be buddhist. I am not. Tantric buddhists have historically not been either.
You don’t need to be able to handle cold well or have any knowledge about reindeers to be sámi. I don’t. The old ways of life are changing, and only around 10% are herders today.
You don’t need to be eccentric to be a painter. I am not. I just like making art.
You don’t need to be good at maths or into technology to be autistic. I am not. In fact, I am so terrible at math I got extra tutoring.
You don’t need to have “everything in order” before becoming a parent. I don’t. Who does?
You don’t need to be scared to call yourself disabled if you have a chronic illness which limits you. It’s not a bad word, it’s just an explanation of your lived reality.
I am all these things and labels, but just mostly myself ❤ Or at least trying to be most of the time.
Some thoughts of today:
It’s unrealistic and a bit dillusional to think that you will get along with everyone and that everyone will like you. The important thing is that you like you. There can’t be as many versions of you as there are people you meet. There can only be one, and that version of you will always be the realest, most authentic one without fail. Whatever makes you weird and wonderful is your strength. 🌹🛸✨
Some photos and paintings from 2016, when I first got back into painting since a long break 💙💚🧡💛
Photos by Irina Bileanschi.
If someone asked you ‘why’ you love your SO, partner or a crush, you could probably list a bunch if their nice qualities and things about them that you appreciate. But that is not WHY you love someone, because you can list the same qualities in a bunch of other people you don’t love. In fact, someone you hate can be extremely talented or compassionate. Your feelings towards or for someone does not change them.
These qualities and traits is probably something you noticed *after* getting feelings of love and affection. Love is funny and amazing like that; it will open your eyes and heart, and is not something you can ever control with your will or thoughts. It will also make one go the extra mile.
As far as I can tell, love just happens based on factors I do not understand entirely. Also, I think love and compassion is our basic nature. Humans are complicated, relationships are usually difficult, not always compatible, but often worth it.
Love is love. Not in a naïve way where everything goes, but in a very basic human way, and there are as many ways of expressing it as there are people.
Det kvile ei natt over landet i nord,
Husan e små der kor menneskan bor.
Men tida e travel i karrige kår,
rokken han svive og vevstolen går
Det leve i løa, i naustet og smia
Et lys, et lys, et lys imot mørketida
Snøen ligg tung over frossen jord
ute står mørket om fjell og om fjord
vår herre gir livberging, søtmat og sul
når døgnan sig fram imot advendt og jul
så støpe vi lys midt i hardaste ria
et lys, et lys, et lys imot mørketida
Dagen e borte og natta e stor
men i mørketidslandet skal høres et ord
ei sol som skal snu så det bære mot dag
om folk som skal samles til helg og til lag
på veien mot Betlehem bære Maria
et lys, et lys, et lys imot mørketida
– Trygve Hoff
Foto av Susanne Pedersen 🙏
Photographer: Agnetha Mortensen (@dirtydaypictures)
Photo edit by me 🙂
Modelling for Irina Bileanschi.
Photography by Irina Bileanschi.
Photography by Irina Bileanschi. Clothes from H&M. Love the high waist jeans! 🙂