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Mothers Did Not Play With Their Children For 99% of Human History

Why the absence of autonomous, multi-age playgroups makes parenting suck. (This is a reshare of Elena Bridgers’ article).

Sámi mommy breastfeeding toddler in Tromsdalen, Tromsø, Arctic Sápmi, while smoking some tobacco.

“Fasten your seatbelts, ladies and (two or three) gentlemen, because we are about to dive into the my absolute favorite topic of all time: the importance of multi-age playgroups in hunter-gatherer societies. Honestly, I get more excited about this stuff than a dog whose owner just said the word “walk.” Back when I first started reading about motherhood in hunter-gatherer societies there were two things that made me go, “ohhhhhhhh, now I get it.” One is the longer interbirth intervals that probably characterized most of human history (as I wrote about here) and the other is the critical important of multi-age playgroups as a source of substitute childcare for mothers. It was a total epiphany for me, and I suspect you may have the same reaction, because once you see how this used to work, how human childhood evolved to work, it just makes so much sense. Over millions of years, we basically evolved a perfect system involving care of children by children, in a way that was wholly compatible with their own need for play, and that we have entirely abandoned in the modern context, to the detriment of all.

But in order for you to understand why this still matters for mothers in the modern context, I need to tell you my own story about just how much I hate playing with my children (even though I love them deeply) and how misguided I was about the role of a “good mom” and what she owes her kids…

I’d rather stick a fork in my eyeball than play pirates.

Only after I had begun doing deep research on hunter-gatherer societies did I realize that this is exactly how things were supposed to work. Children are supposed to play with other children. It was never meant to be the mother’s job. But trapped as we are in single-family homes where playmates can be hard to come by, parents often end up filling this tedious and time-consuming role…[..]”

Read the full article here.

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A colourful death – Something greater


If you knew that one day someone would be helped and inspired by exactly the trial you are going through now, would it then be easier to bear? I believe that the knowledge/thought that another person can benefit from your story; your experiences and how you solved problems and trials makes the burden lighter in a way; because then you are doing something for something greater than yourself. There is a self-sacrifice in the picture that gives momentum, and you no longer think only of “me and mine,” but also of the well-being of others. I don’t know if this makes sense – I think it’s the autumn and the colourful death and devotion of the plants to the cycle of the seasons that made me write this 🤭🍂💛

-M

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The Sacred Bear in Sámi mythology

The Sacred Bear and “the Origin of the Sámi People”

In Sámi mythology, the bear is a divine ancestor, not just an animal.

One myth tells of a heavenly bear who descended to earth and married a human woman. Their children became the first Sámi people.

Because of this, bears were/are honored as ancestor spirits, and when a bear was killed (very rare and ritualised), its bones were carefully placed in a tree to allow its soul to return to the sky.

A ceremony called the Bear Feast included songs, dances, and apologizing to the bear spirit for the killing, inviting it to be reborn.

The Bear Who Fell From the Stars:

A Sámi Creation Song of the First Bear

In the hush before dawn, where no footprints fall,
Where the wind hums secrets to the pine,
A star broke loose from the roof of night
And tumbled down through time.

He fell with a roar through clouds of gold,
Bathed in *Beaivi’s light.
He landed not dead, but dreaming still
In the heart of the forest’s white.

The reindeer bowed their crowned heads low,
The lynx stood still in her track.
For this was the First of Bears,
The Sky-Child, fallen back.

He walked like thunder on ancient snow,
His breath, a wind of flame.
Yet gentle were his dreaming eyes,
And wise, and without shame.

A woman came from a northern vale,
A weaver of skins and song.
She found him sleeping in a ring of birch
And stayed with him all night long.

They spoke without words by fire and frost,
By the rhythm of blood and bone.
She taught him the names of the winds and streams;
He gave her dreams of home.

And so their children, wild and wise,
Were neither beast nor man.
They sang to trees, they hunted clean,
They walked where few else can.

But then the bear, when spring had sung,
Felt longing rise like steam:
His fur grew light, his eyes grew wide
He vanished into dream.

And so today, when the bear is seen,
The Sámi bow and sing
“Child of stars, our ancient kin,
Return again in spring.”

If ever a bear is taken in hunt,
The people weep and pray.
They dress his skull in flowers and moss
And lift his bones away.

*Beaivi is the Sun (as a deity)

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Something old

Bought a new diary, in hopes of finding time to write again; haven’t written anything in over a year. Initiated first page with this poem 😊🙏🏼💎

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Way of Life | Art print

This is the landscape nomadic peoples of the Arctic have travelled for decades and generations. Moving their herds and homes and children safely tucked onto sleds, across the tundra. This is still the case in some areas. If you’ve witnessed the ever-changing play of colours and atmosphere during the Arctic winter and Polar night, it looks something like this; pastel skies, crisp clear air, moon in daytime and the sun hiding behind the horizon, blessing us with a few rays here and there before leaving for a few months. I am in awe at how my ancestors have survived and even thrived here for so long; I feel moved to my core by their know-how of the elements, seasons and animals. “Way of Life” art print, 2400 NOK 🩵💜🤍🧡 89 x 46,5 cm including white edges. The prints have the title written on the white part in front, and signature on the back.

Can be shipped anywhere 🙏🏼

Shown on dark wall 🖤
Shown on light wall 🤍
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The Laws of The Sun

Have to share this absolute gem of a film 🙏🏼 Found it very well made and entertaining to watch, and a good Dharma film to show kids. I don’t usually watch a lot of animé but I liked it!

Here is the sequel also; The Golden Laws

Happy new year. May all being be free!

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It has to touch the heart

When we are small children, it comes natural for us to think of others. We don’t see much separation between ourselves and others, and so wanting to be kind, to help and be generous comes as naturally as dusk and dawn.

As we age and experiences shape us, we get hardened. We are no longer soft and supple like babies, now we have frozen places in our bodies and mind that makes us feel and act in certain negative ways, or it even makes us ill. We get prickly edges, we might be ‘difficult’ for others to be around and as much as we wish to feel soft, authentic and playful again, it just don’t seem to happen by will alone.

This is where yogic practices (dharma) can help, because it targets and addresses both the physical body, and the subtle energy bodies. Focusing only on one aspect, will not be a holistic solution, in my experience. And focusing only on my own healing, without regard to others who are also suffering, is not sufficient; it has to be for the benefit of others – it has to touch the heart (bodhichitta).

Prayer flags in our garden

Here is the youtube channel and the website of the Amrita Mandala dharma lineage which I practice and which has helped me the most in my life and healing 🙏🏼

(Header image art of Isha Natha by MysticMantraGallery)

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Photo series: Everyday life

In my summer sea sámi gákti. And small baby “shoes” made by mother-in-law 🙏🏼
Shades of blue shell
Rusty colours
Blue and purple hues
“Det er morgen igjen, vesle håp
og verden frotterer seg med nyvasket solskinn.
Livets ansikt er aldri det samme
selv om vi ser på det i all evighet.” – Kolbein Falkeid
#home #kitchen #midnightsun
Curious little guy on a short hike in the rain. ☔️
Summer details in some of my older paintings.
Just playing and experimenting with colours and techniques so that I will hopefully find the Joy of painting again 😄 I guess I have a little dry spell in my creative life at the moment..
Blue, orange and yellow are great together.
A bouquet I picked by the side of the road.
Details
Beef tallow.

Son and daddy 💙💛❤️💚
My partner of 14 years meditating. #yogisondisplay
Our shed with some new flowers.
Curious little rabbit in our garden.

Xx Monica Amrita Mani

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Is the Ketogenic Diet Safe in Pregnancy? (Very Important)

This short video really highlights something that is close to my heart; right nutrition in pregnancy. Am currently pregnant with our second baby, and since going keto, the difference before and after is like night and day. Especially if I compare to my first pregnancy 4 years ago when I was not in ketosis. I was binging carbs all day and gaining a lot of weight, and barely had any energy. At the end of that pregnancy, I had to use crutches and/or wheelchair. The really shitty thing about using glucose as main energy source is that the more carbs you eat, the more you crave. I’ve noticed that when switching to (animal) fat as the main fuel, I don’t have cravings, mood and energy level is quite stable and I can function a lot better as a mum and basically as a human being 😅 I can write a longer more in detail post about what exactly I eat to maintain ketosis and how it makes sense for me to do that both from a health perspective but also from an ancestral point of view.

(Pictured: beef tallow I eat every day.)

Xx Monica Amrita Mani

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Autumn and winter in Arctic Sápmi

Winter is on our doorsteps, snow is here, polarnight is 2 weeks away, and it’s time for cosying up, hibernating, perserving our energy – and perhaps do some more icebaths. A small photo series from September, October and a few from November so far 🤍 Much love from Arctic Sápmi 🙌🏼

Crips air
Half autumn, half winter
Woman walking…
Kitchen view 22.oct. The adults were watching over the white baby reindeer.
Colours of autumn
We are 6-7 women doing ice bathing every week together
Helps to have a fire when icebathing
Sálasvaggi
Frost on seaweed
Frosty boat
When winter crept down the hill side
12:30 light
Ida swimming
Kali on a reindeer pelt
Ladies ice bathing
Me ice bathing
Afternoon light in autumn
Reindeer heart…Cooked it with onion and full fat cream
Norwegian, Sámi and Kveni flag next to each other
Blue tones by the river
Pastel hues
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November in photos

The sky is always so colourful right before polarnight sets in
Early in November
An important topic and film (“The silence in Sápmi”) Saw it in the cinema, I think it will be put online later.
Made some Christmas decor with our son ❤️
From high up! Propeller plane ride from Arctic to Southern Finland ❄️🤍🌌
His third plane ride, and he isn’t even two!
Amrita Mandala yoga retreat
20+ people in person and online, practising yoga-dharma together for 4 days.
In Porvoo
Me doing Dzogchen Metta practice with Jenna ✨️
Photo of calender I printed with my own photos. These are for June, because they were taken in June at midnight.
I chose this photo for March because that is when these little birdies return.
11 am 💜💛🤍

Soon we enter December and thus the last month of 2022. Hope you are all staying warm and safe, and that Christmas is not a source of stress, but a time for relaxing and magic ✨️❄️

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My creative energy

Can I just say, this is the best photo anyone has ever taken of me? Susann, thank you for capturing my essence. Here I am wearing a headdress and silk liidni I sewed myself, and the gákti summer dress is made by Nadezda Johnsen.
Autumn wind…🧡🍂🙌🏼
Life is a lot of chopping wood and carrying water… I think that is how the saying goes 😉

“Your healing journey will, of course, include a consideration and use of all the best tools modern medicine can offer you, as well as the best tools holistic healing can offer you. From a deeper perspective, illness is caused by unfulfilled longing. The deeper the illness, the deeper the longing. It is a message that somehow, somewhere, you have forgotten who you are and what your purpose is. You have forgotten and disconnected from the purpose of your creative energy from your core. Your illness is the symptom: The disease represents your unfulfilled longing. So above all else, use your illness to set yourself free to do what you have always wanted to do, to be who you have always wanted to be, to manifest and express who you already are from your deepest, broadest, and highest reality. If indeed you have discovered yourself to be ill, prepare yourself for change, expect your deepest longing to surface and to be brought to fruition. Prepare yourself to finally stop running and turn and face the tiger within you, whatever that means to you in a very personal way. I suggest the best place to start to find the meaning of your illness is to ask yourself: “What is it that I have longed for and not yet succeeded in creating in my life?”’ (From Barbara Brennan’s book Emerging Light)

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What that means to me

Vajra brocade jacket in green and gold I was lucky to find in local second hand store. It is handmade, too, wonder who made it and gave it away.

I wanted to make a post on the physical body. I have noticed in social media a trend called ‘body positivity’, and I wanted to share my own version of what that means to me:

  • Knowing that my body is made from the natural elements and is a result of thousands of generations
  • Reminding myself that all my cells are working hard to keep me alive every day
  • Eating traditional sustainable foods that my body easily turn into energy
  • Deep sleep and meditation to give body healing and vitality
  • Practice prayer and mantras to help body get rid of karmic traces stored inside the cells
  • Strength training to keep joints stable and posture straight
  • Keeping in mind how ancestors lived, and how they treated their bodies
  • Reminding myself to breathe with my belly, through nose and keeping my tongue in the roof of mouth, while jaw relaxed, as this feels most natural and it makes body relax
  • Tapping into body’s innate healing powers if I feel sick
  • Feeling how the body is an anchor that keeps us in the present moment

Maybe I could add more later. What would you add? Thanks for reading, have a lovely day. -M

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Forgetting who we are

“From the perspective of a healer, illness is the result of imbalance. Imbalance is a result of forgetting who you are. Forgetting who you are creates thoughts and actions that lead to an unhealthy lifestyle and eventually to illness.” – Barbara Brennan, Hands of Light

Healing can occur spontaneously and over time. The spirit has an innate ability and longing for healing, health and happiness. We can all access this healing ability, we just sometimes need some help to tap into that. Never think that healing is not an option for you, or that it’s too late. We can always be reminded of who we are, where our strength lies and how strong our spirits are.

I’d like to recommend 2 books that helped me: Healing back pain: the mind-body connection by Dr. John Sarno, and Hands of Light by Barbara Brennan.

Much healing love to anyone and everyone who needs it. -M

Pictured: me at age 10 ca., on a hiking trip with my family. 🖤

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How to relax

For the past 11 years or so, I have been teaching myself how to relax and be calm.

I have always been quite a worried person, so I feel I had to learn this in order to simply have a better life with more control. I still sometimes forget how to, but each time I remember, I do the following:

An easy quick way to instantly relax the mind and muscles, causing bloodflow to spread more evenly in the body, is to do three things simultanously: relax the jaw and eyes completely, breathe deeply into belly for at least 8 breaths and move the inner gaze/attention to the feet or ground below. Get a sense of the Earth. Notice the effect.

Another way, if you have the oppotunity, is to lay down flat, do the same with jaw and eyes, and to focus on the in and out breaths in the belly. Take deep slow breaths. Imagine them as waves ebbing on the shore.

And lastly, going into nature of course has a calming effect too, even just for 10 minutes. If you cannot go outside, perhaps painting or drawing nature is an idea.

Hope this helps! I truly believe knowing how to relax and calm our selves is an important skill. Getting carried away by the storm can be both painful and result in regrets.

Acrylic on canvas, gift for a friend 💙
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An eventful, colourful January

It’s the last day of a very eventful January, and I am spending it curled up on our big sleeping couch with our newborn baby boy who is about 2 weeks old now, in his little baby nest and my partner who is sitting on the other end writing away on the computer. Outside, it’s already dark again. Polar night is officially over here but I have not seen the Sun yet. I am not outside so much, hardly at all as all time and energy is spent adjusting and taking care of this new amazing creation. I did however manage our first little walk with the pram!

Life is new and different and surreal as parents. Giving birth was intense and hard work, and unfortunately not how I envisioned, but nontheless a very powerful experience. A rite of passage of sorts.. At one point during delivery I felt like I connected with all other Mothers giving birth naturally, experiencing the same pain at the exact same time. When he was born, there was an incredible silence and love that I have not experienced before 🤱🏻

January is also my birthday month, and this year I celebrated at home with my little family and my friend Katharina. 29; last year in my twenties, first year as a mama! 🎉✨

How was your January?

Awareness, Health, Neurodiversity, Neurological

Stammering and how it affects me

“Stuttering or stammering, in its simplest form, is any disruption to speech fluency. This could be repetitions, prolongations, or blocks and may occur anywhere in the word or phrase. Nerves or anxiety does not cause stuttering. Stuttering is a neurophysiological disorder. Oftentimes, it is the stuttering that causes anxiety.”

“Stuttering is believed to occur due to dysfunctional blood flow in certain areas of the brain.”

How stuttering has manifested for me:

Blockages; going mute. Also known as stutter blocks. I’ll know exactly what I want to say, but I physically cannot get the words out. They are stuck in my chest, head or throat/jaw. This has made it quite hard to communicate a lot of the time, and to make friends or be social in general. I often rehearse sentences in my head, and get overjoyed if I manage to say it out loud with fluency. This takes a lot of effort, and is why I prefer writing or any other form of communication. I also struggle some with phone calls.

The blocks makes me say “Uummm” a lot too, to kind of fill in the time because I really want to get the next word out, which is quite stressful. I do fear it makes me sound dumb or slow, and it does kill my confidence, especially if I am with people I want to talk a lot with or I know I have a lot to say on the topic we are discussing. I usually have no problem talking to animals, close old friends, chant buddhist mantras or in certain situations where I don’t feel a pressure to say anything. But those situations are rare, and I would love to learn how to “unblock” my speech, which is why I am doing speech therapy too,

Do you have a speech problem, and/or something similar? Let me know how you deal with it.

Thank for reading

Monica xx

Skulsfjord, 2019
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Snart november

Fant meg en fin plass i fjæra til å meditere samt se på fargespillet på himmelen som alltid skjer nært mørketida.
Alle bildene er tatt med mobilen, så beklager kvaliteten 🙈
Frost 🍂
Pastellhimmel.
Regnbuefarger.
Kaldere vær betyr store jakker og ullsjal ❤ Er ikke så mange jakker som passer over magen lenger 😄🤰 Månedene flyr forbi, er allerede i siste trimester 💜🌌

Hvordan takler/liker du mørketida?