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Transformation

This january marked the 10 year anniversary of starting my tantric path, although I started my journey in hatha yoga in 2011.

What is tantra to me?
It is easy to go into a textbook definition of it, and I will add one further down, but first I want to share what it means to me personally.

Tantra is transformation. It is working with energy in energy systems (of our mind and body).

Tantrics are usually laypeople – men and women with children, jobs, etc. We do not renounce the material and relative world but rather the opposite – using everyday life and challenges as fuel for the path, transforming impure energies into their pure state through specific yogic practices*.

Being a tantric means training and trusting one’s own path and experiences, rather than just doing what is being told – to have disernment and critical thinking, yet stay open and humble.

Tantra can turn ignorance into wisdom, selfishness into compassion. Illuminating the dark corners of our minds, interrupting the cyclical habits, and learning how to read and work with energies; masculine and feminine, peaceful and wrathful alike. To find the center between extremes; letting hope and fear, aversion and attachment collaps into each other. With practice I believe it is possible to return ones mind and body from the samsaric state into its natural pristine state – which is the difference between ourselves and fully realised practitioners/masters of yoga/tantra. It only makes sense to me, for example, that if you can heal 10% of your traumas, you can heal 100%.

There is no tantric lineage without a head teacher (‘guru’ in sanskrit language, although I hesitate to use the word guru because it has been so misused and thus misleading). Tantra is based on passing empowerments from the teacher to the student. All empowerments I have received has been from Finnish tantric teacher Amrita Baba, and I am part of his sangha (community of practitioners), called AmritaMandala. I feel fortunate to have found what I deem to be an authentic Teacher of Dharma, who is able to transmit high teachings to his students, so that we actually feel the shifts and benefits. In this pragmatic lineage we work closely with non-physical tantric masters (mahasiddhas), mainly Padmasambhava, Yeshe Tsogyal, Ishanath (aka Jesus Christ), Babaji, Mataji, Krishna, Radha, Lao Tzu, Bodhidharma, among many others. See full list here.

Personally, I feel a very close relationship with Ishanath, he has for instance healed some of my serious physical ailments spontaneously on more than one occasion since 2021 in meditation, and he is – in my eyes – a true tantric yogi beyond of any religious establishment – pure Christ consciousness.

Impermanence is also a central topic in tantra. It is well believed that a practitioner (tantric yogi/ni) should be able to know what happens at the time of death (our two subtle bodies leaving the physical body), and there are practices for this specifically. Meditation and contemplation on illness, death and the impermanent nature of the relative world is essential.

I vaguely remember a few past lives, and that my soul chose this incarnation; I chose being a girl/woman, my parents, my place of birth, and the immense health challenges to fuel my practice. The deeper the suffering, the wider the perspectives, the greater the lessons and the brighter the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am also a Mother, and both of our boys’ souls came to ‘visit’ me before they decided to be born through me. I feel very honored that they chose us as parents, and I cannot wait to see what their plans are for their lives.

Another important cornerstone of tantra is bodhicitta; the genuine wish to attain enlightenment for the sake of all sentient beings. This wish can carry you through some of the darkest moments – it really has for me.

Do you have a spiritual practice? 😊



*Main practices of Amrita Mandala is:
Rainbow Body Yoga (free download)


Amrita Kriya Yoga (free download)


Amrita Asana Yoga


Trauma specials guided practice(youtube playlist)


Mending the Broken Human guided practice (youtube playlist)

Talk on Dzogchen, trekcho, thogal and atiyoga (the highest yoga)

Click here to read about Amrita Mandala’s 13 bhumi model

Free e-book on awakening (opening of the first bhumi center inside the head)

The Two-Part Formula for Awakening

Vajrayana is the tantric interpretation of mahayana. The goal is the same in mahayana but the methods are different.

The biggest practical different, as they’re doctrinally the same, are empowerments and transmissions given by a tantric preceptor who traditionally are called gurus (tib. lit. lama). In tantric empowerments the guru transmits the experience of buddhanature that all beings inherently possess that can be afterwards returned and cultivated by the student. This cultivation is done through the repetition of mantras, visualizations and mudras or physical gestures that are direct expressions of the enlightened speech, mind and body. Mantras are specific verbal formulas of various deities or enlightened archetypes of buddhas and bodhisattvas that embody different aspects of our inherent enlightened nature. Manjushri is an archetype of wisdom and discrimination, Avalokiteshvara that of compassion and Vajrasattva that of selfless clarity. The tantric system is an esoteric method of healing and awakening which under certain circumstances leads to buddhahood ie supreme enlightenment (skt. anuttara samyak sambodhi) in a single lifetime.

It is good to mention that the mentioned enlightenment is not something of the distant past and cultures. Vajrayana which is a yogic training system for normal laypeople, enables full enlightenment for anyone who dedicates to pursue the path to enlightenment for the purpose of helping others, is willing to keep bringing accepting awareness to one’s most painful and unpleasant thoughts, emotions and memories and who is willing to continue to the end of the process regardless.

In terms of doctrines vajrayana, like mahayana, is based on the so called Second and Third Turnings of the wheel of Dharma by Buddha Shakyamuni. Interpretations of these doctrines, especially the buddhanature (skt. tathagatagarbha) teaching of the Third Turning vary slightly. However, all vajrayana, also called tantrayana or mantrayana, is based on the doctrine of emptiness or better, selflessness of all things of the mind (skt. shunyata) and bodhicitta which means revealing the natural loving, compassionate and kind nature of ours towards all beings.

Amrita Baba

My tantric tattoo.
A portrait from May 2024, with second baby 🧑
πŸ˜ΉπŸ™πŸΌ
Ishanath
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How to Pray | Poem + video

In a world that teaches
me first, me only, me always,
prayer is a quiet rebellion.
It begins with a bow,
a loosening of the fist
that clutches at control.

It dares to whisper:
I am not the center.
I am not the crown of all things.
I am a thread in the tapestry,
a note in the chorus,
a servant of something vast.
Something holy.

Prayer is an act of defiance
against the tyranny of ego,
against the hunger that never fills.
It topples the empire of the small self
and builds, stone by stone,
a sanctuary for all beings.

In prayer, we betray the myth of isolation.
We kneel not in defeat,
but in devotion and love.

Prayer is rebellion,
the most radical kind,
for it wages war not on others,
but on the walls within,
until only openness remains.

Through the power of prayer,
we can align ourselves with life and light itself. What a miracle.

We can call for the aid
of both ancient and recent Masters,
Beyond space and time.
Their luminous wisdom and boundless
compassion can touch our hearts as intimately as the Sun’s warmth opens flowers in the morning mist.

Prayer is not just mere words.
It is the trembling of the soul reaching for our wholeness, a candle lit in the dark, a river bending toward the ocean.
Prayer is tantra and transformation.

-M

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Trauma healing specials – try it now πŸ™πŸΌ

Wanted to share this free online playlist on Youtube in six parts, focused on the healing of traumas in the psyche. It can be done sitting in a comfortable posture, or laying down if you prefer. It has been extremely helpful for me, so I share it in hopes someone else will benefit 🫢🏻

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Something old

Bought a new diary, in hopes of finding time to write again; haven’t written anything in over a year. Initiated first page with this poem πŸ˜ŠπŸ™πŸΌπŸ’Ž

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Careful as someone crossing an iced-over stream

Our garden river frozen, but still trickling 🩡

“The ancient Masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it;
all we can describe is their appearance.

They were careful
as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water.

Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving
till the right action arises by itself?

The Master doesn’t seek fulfillment.
Not seeking, not expecting,
she is present, and can welcome all things.”

-Chapter 15, Tao te Ching, Lao Tzu

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Warrior who carries no weapons

Chatral Rinpoche (8. June 1913 – 30. December 2015). Yogi whom has helped me on my spiritual path πŸ’ŽπŸ“Ώ

You might spend your whole life pursuing only food and clothing,
With great effort and without regard for suffering or harmful deeds,
But when you die you cannot take even a single thing with you β€” consider this well.
The clothing and alms needed to keep you alive are all you need.
You might dine on the finest meal of delicious meat and alcohol,
But it all turns into something impure the very next morning,
And there is nothing more to it all than that.
So be content with life-sustaining provisions and simple clothes,
And be a loser when it comes to food, clothing and conversation.

No matter where you stay, be it a busy place or a solitary retreat,
The only things that you need to conquer are mind’s five poisons (jealousy, pride, anger, ignorance, attachment).
And your own true enemies, the eight worldly concerns (hope for pleasure and fear of pain, hope for gain and fear of loss, hope for praise and fear of criticism, hope for good reputation and fear of bad reputation).

There is no better sign of accomplishment than a disciplined mind.
This is true victory for the real warrior who carries no weapons.
When you practise the teachings of the sΕ«tras and tantras,
The altruistic bodhicitta of aspiration and application is crucial,
Because it lies at the very root of the Mahāyāna.
Just to have this is enough, but without it, all is lost.

It is far better to eliminate your doubts and misconceptions,
By relying on the instructions of your own qualified teacher,
Than to receive many different teachings and never take them any further.

If you lack the wealth of contentment in your mind,
You’ll think you need all kinds of useless things,
And end up even worse than just an ordinary person,
Because you won’t manage even a single session of practice.
So set your mind on freedom from the need for anything at all.
Wealth, success and status are all simply ways of attracting enemies and demons.
Pleasure-seeking practitioners who fail to turn their minds from this life’s concerns
Sever their connection to the authentic Dharma.

Limit yourself to just a few activities and undertake them all with diligence.
Not allowing your mind to become fidgety and restless.

All quotes by Chatral Rinpoche

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The Laws of The Sun

Have to share this absolute gem of a film πŸ™πŸΌ Found it very well made and entertaining to watch, and a good Dharma film to show kids. I don’t usually watch a lot of animΓ© but I liked it!

Here is the sequel also; The Golden Laws

Happy new year. May all being be free!

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It has to touch the heart

When we are small children, it comes natural for us to think of others. We don’t see much separation between ourselves and others, and so wanting to be kind, to help and be generous comes as naturally as dusk and dawn.

As we age and experiences shape us, we get hardened. We are no longer soft and supple like babies, now we have frozen places in our bodies and mind that makes us feel and act in certain negative ways, or it even makes us ill. We get prickly edges, we might be ‘difficult’ for others to be around and as much as we wish to feel soft, authentic and playful again, it just don’t seem to happen by will alone.

This is where yogic practices (dharma) can help, because it targets and addresses both the physical body, and the subtle energy bodies. Focusing only on one aspect, will not be a holistic solution, in my experience. And focusing only on my own healing, without regard to others who are also suffering, is not sufficient; it has to be for the benefit of others – it has to touch the heart (bodhichitta).

Prayer flags in our garden

Here is the youtube channel and the website of the Amrita Mandala dharma lineage which I practice and which has helped me the most in my life and healing πŸ™πŸΌ

(Header image art of Isha Natha by MysticMantraGallery)

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Tantra with shamanistic roots

It is from Eastern Siberia that the word shaman comes from, which means to ‘heat up’. Where it originated before that, I do not know. The ‘new shananism’ people in the west speak of today can hardly be compared.
Shamanism and animism has permeated most if not all of the nomadic and semi-nomadic cultures in this part of the world. The shamans have traditionally been both women and men, though the word ‘shaman’ is masculine form. The feminine word for a female shaman is ‘udugan’ in Tungusic language. In Northern SΓ‘mi a shaman is known as a Noaide.
(Acrylic on mixed media paper, A4)
Shaman’s drum to aid in the trance travel

Here is some pictures I used for inspiration for my painting.

I can also highly recommend these practices on youtube by a Uralic Tantric yoga teacher Amrita Baba; where he teaches tantric practices with ancient shamanic masters. Here is part 1 of 4, and the other parts linked below video.

Part 2: https://youtu.be/vS-7P3B7N2Q?si=14fzDmiSptsM0a_q

Part 3: https://youtu.be/2h04mO6bPt4?si=jfKcEQCKLXDRqCcJ

Part 4: https://youtu.be/Auq6GWt-u84?si=BMk0oaolL6tJYPgC

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The healer within

The following text is from Barbara Brennan’s book “Light Emerging”, page 337 – 343 πŸ’œ

“Once upon a time, aeons ago before time was known as it is today, there was a spark of light in the heart of the divine. That spark in the divine burst forth into millions of stars. Each star had a name that was written in the word of God. One of those stars is you. As a star, you grew and developed and sang across the heavens to the other stars. In this time before you were born as a human, you knew light, love, and wisdom. Being unborn, of course you had no body, so there was a great deal of freedom. You were completely aware of the essence of your being. You had great freedom to move about the universe at your will. You moved in the direction that you focused in. With your intention, you began creating things. If you had a wish, you automatically created it. You created stone and earth; tree and flower; star and planet; even cloud and wind.

Your essence moved easily, changing from one form to another. You experienced being a cloud, a moon, a sun, or a fish, or a cat. You continued to move as your pleasure led you. As you moved from one form to another, creating more forms, you slowly became identified with form, and shadow was born. You got so excited in the creating that memory slipped and you forgot who you were. You were so busy creating, you didn’t even notice that you began to think you were form.

Shadow grew darker, and pain was born out of forgetting that the true self is essence. The true self is the creator, that which is beyond form. That is how you created shadow and pain. You forgot who you are. You split yourself in two: the part that forgot and the whole that remembers.

Within every human being, there is the spark of the divine in every cell of your body. It is the essence of self. Within that true essence of who you are is the healer within you who has all of the creative power of the universe. The healer within you is named according to the word of God. That is who you truly are. Move your awareness now to your inner essence, your power and light that are completely unique. You are the word of God made manifest. Move your awareness to the total essence of your beingβ€”that is the healer within you. You have felt it your entire life. The golden threads of this power have been woven through the tapestry of your life since before you were born. You knew as a small child, as you know now, what this means. Feel the essence, the power, flowing through you. It is your uniqueness. It is your beauty. It is your love. It is the sweetness that you experienced life to be as a child.

Your power lies within the sweetness of who you are. It is within the sweet longings you have protected and shielded from others. You are like a flower unfolding in the sunlight. Feel the power and the nature of your divinity, unlike any other. Now ground that well in your body. That part of you is still free. That part of you can still move freely through space, time, and other realities. Feel yourself in this freedom now. As you are moving through time and space to different types of reality, in the far distance you hear a cry. That cry wells up and becomes more audible, and you say, β€œOh, what could that be?” You hear the longing in the cry for help. Then you spot it and you see the beautiful blue and white shimmering planet in the sky. You are drawn closer to that beloved planet by the cries of need. As you get closer, you say, β€œWhat can I do to help? How can I answer this cry, this call? How can I help heal the pain that is upon the earth?” Then you have a great idea. You decide to create a physical form by drawing it up out of the earth and drawing the pain with it. You intend to use the physical form to heal the pain. You descended into a tiny physical body.

After nine months or so, you were born into this world as a human being. The longer you remained attached to that body, the dimmer the memory of your original essence became. As a child, and perhaps way before that, you began taking on the pain. During the experience of the pain, you completely forgot who you were. When the pain would leave, you would remember. When the pain would come back, you would forget. The pain that you chose to heal grew inside of your body.

Look over your childhood. Find the deepest pain that you have carried in all those years. With that pain, you will find your deepest longing. What is it that you want to be? What is it that you longed to be as a child that you now and then thought you could never be? Did you want to move among the stars? Did you want to heal everyone on earth? Did you want to paint or to create beautiful music? Did you want to make everyone feel safe? What was it that you wanted more than anything? If you could be or could have anything you wished on earth, have any fantasy come true, what is that fantasy? How is the un-fulfillment of that related to your very deep pain?

Look backward over your life. As you moved through each moment of your life carrying that pain, there is one thread: a repeated cycle on the spiral of life, where that deepest pain from childhood has been repeated over and over and over again in the many different experiences that you have had. If you look at all of those experiences, you will find a common thread among them all. When you find that common thread, then allow yourself to begin feeling that pain. Allow your body to experience this pain. Where has it affected your body? When you feel it in your body, where does your body tense? Explore now throughout your body where that pain has affected your psychic, your spiritual, your mental, your psychological, and your physical being. That thread runs holographically through every portion of your being, and as it runs through your body it hits in particular places that eventually become experienced as physical pain. Find it in your body. If you are sensitive to the auric field, then find it in the auric field.

As you find that pain, on whatever level it has manifested most profoundlyβ€”perhaps a fear, perhaps a problem with relationship, perhaps in a physical disorder, perhaps in your professionβ€”then ask yourself a question: β€œWhat has this to do with my deepest longing? How is this particular problem associated with my deepest longing of who I wish to be, what I want to do with my life, where I wish to live?” The first job you have is to heal that pain within the body. For it is by the pain in your body and life that you will learn the personal skills that you need to fill your longing, no matter what it is. Find that pain within your body, and put your hands on it: that which you have carried for a lifetime, that darkest belief system that has the most profound forgetting, that one major, deepest pain, be it in your heart, your belly, or in your throat. Put your hand there now, and experience the consciousness there that believes in separation. It is the shadow. It believes it is separate and isolated from everything, isolated and separate with no hope. Find that pain that has been there from the earliest of days, and let that shadow begin to dissolve. Enter into the shadow. Accompany yourself into the dungeon within the self that needs healing. Do not deny the human experience of that real pain from the human perspective. It is not a new pain. It has been there ever since you can remember. It is not the kind of pain that goes away easily, for it is deeply, deeply ingrained. Spend some time with the pain. Then when you are ready, move your conscious awareness to the healer within you. Here is your wisdom. Here is your longing and your light with which you came here to heal the pain that is in your body. Move back to the pain and feel the pain. Then move to the longing and feel the longing. Move back to the pain and then to the longing again. Continue moving from one to the other until you find the association between the two, until you can answer the question, β€œWhat does this pain in my life mean to me? What is it trying to tell me? What is the message it brings to me?”

While you are feeling that pain with your hands, from the human perspective, ask the essence of healer that you are what you need to do. What is the deepest cause of this pain? Ask for help to heal this pain. Ask the healer within for help to heal that which you have been unable to heal in yourself up until now. Truly ask, and it shall be answered. Ask very specifically what you can do. What is the cause? What is the belief system? What do you need to do every day? Allow the essence of the healer within you to work through your hands to heal your body. Be a channel to heal the self. Let the light flow through you. After you have received as much information as you can, reach for the highest spiritual reality you know; your higher self or your guides. Reach for the memory of who you are from that highest spiritual reality. You will find that the pain within you is precisely the pain that you were drawn to earth to heal, way back before you were born, when you were that wondrous spiritual being. That is who you truly are. So reach up to that part of the self that has incarnated in order to heal the very pain that you carry within yourself and that you have carried since your birth. For it is precisely the pain you have come to heal, and it is you who have chosen to take on this pain and in doing so you chose to incarnate with precisely the best combinations of energies and wisdom and love to heal that particular pain. That is what you have come to heal, and you are fully equipped to do so. You have fully equipped yourself to heal it. And that wondrous spiritual being that you were before your birth when you heard the cries and the longing from the earth and were drawn toward the earth is the healer within you.

You are the person who knows how to heal that pain more than anyone else. That is your healer within. Be the healer within you, and heal that thread of pain that you have carried throughout your whole life. Touch your body in places you feel pain. As you are working, move your consciousness back and forth between the healer within and the inner person who is in pain. As you continue to move back and forth, you begin to understand the relationship between the healer within you and the pain that it has come to heal. You have drawn this pain up from the earth to transform it. Give yourself plenty of time to complete this process. You are integrating the pain within, the longing that you carry within your heart, and the healer within that can heal you. Let the healer within you draw out that pain and return you to wholeness. Move back and forth between the human with the deep pain, and the healer with universal power. Move them closer and closer together as you move back and forth until they merge. Continue the process until you become completely merged. When you feel satisfied that the merging is complete and has stabilized, I would like you to remain silent for at least an hour. Remain silent, sit in meditation, or simply get up and go for a walk in the woods.”

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How to relax

For the past 11 years or so, I have been teaching myself how to relax and be calm.

I have always been quite a worried person, so I feel I had to learn this in order to simply have a better life with more control. I still sometimes forget how to, but each time I remember, I do the following:

An easy quick way to instantly relax the mind and muscles, causing bloodflow to spread more evenly in the body, is to do three things simultanously: relax the jaw and eyes completely, breathe deeply into belly for at least 8 breaths and move the inner gaze/attention to the feet or ground below. Get a sense of the Earth. Notice the effect.

Another way, if you have the oppotunity, is to lay down flat, do the same with jaw and eyes, and to focus on the in and out breaths in the belly. Take deep slow breaths. Imagine them as waves ebbing on the shore.

And lastly, going into nature of course has a calming effect too, even just for 10 minutes. If you cannot go outside, perhaps painting or drawing nature is an idea.

Hope this helps! I truly believe knowing how to relax and calm our selves is an important skill. Getting carried away by the storm can be both painful and result in regrets.

Acrylic on canvas, gift for a friend πŸ’™
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The Copper Coloured Mountain: Pure land

A little snow leopard put her print in the snow 🐾 Tara dancing in the snow next to it ❄
10 x 10 cm. Colours used: white, blue and copper/gold.
Our Christmas altar. Put my new painting there next to Vajrasattva statue.
‘During practice, the Buddhas and bodhisattvas are omnipresent. They’re always here, but we don’t see them because of our obscurations. We practice in order to clear away the obscurations and to acquire pure perceptionβ€”not with the eyes, but with the heart.’ β€πŸ™πŸ»

The copper coloured mountain is also known as Zangdok Palri; Guru Rinpoche Padmasambhava’s non-physical pure land.

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Pastel coloured skies

My favourite shawl. Head dress I made by hand.
A tantric Padmasambhava and Yeshe Tsogyal statue I helped repaint for a friend. The union of wisdom and compassion. Wish I had a similar one! Hopefully one day I will afford one πŸ™πŸ»

You know how you need to pretend to sleep in order to fall asleep? And at some point it just happens. Maybe it’s the same with other areas of life. Fake it till you make it, kind of, not in a bad way – just a dedicated one. I have noticed at least that the same applies to yoga and meditation sometimes. If I feel stressed, anxious and restless, I force myself to do the practice anyway. And at some level it still does its magic, of that I am 100% sure. In between the sleepless thoughts and rough emotions – they become like clouds in the pastel coloured sky.

Wishing all a lovely calm Polar night, and remember that it’s in darkness you shine the brightest πŸŒŒβœ¨πŸŽ†

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Gold hidden in its matrix

“You might ask, β€ŸIf I have Buddha nature, why can’t I perceive it right now?”
It is because, like gold hidden in its matrix, that nature is hidden by our habits that we have accumulated since beginningless time. These habits have been created by our disturbing emotions and then reinforced by the actions that those disturbances have produced.”

~ Shechen Gyaltsab