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A few personal thoughts before giving birth for the first time

Each day is getting closer to meeting our son. With the corona situation, we have been unfortunate in not getting the help and support we needed from the beginning, but as the birth is right around the corner, we have finally found a midwife that we can call and ask questions any time. We even got a little “tour” of the delivery room, which helped a lot. Getting a visual of where it will all happen and my options on how to deliver him. I have decided on a waterbirth (which I had no idea was an option here!), but plans may change of course.

My health has declined quite a lot the last 2-3 weeks. The neurological symptoms and the extra weight (+23 kg) has been heavy in all the meanings of the word. Here on Christmas eve celebration the 24th with our family dog Loke 🎄🎁 Notice my awesome socks! 🎅
My necklace 😊 Got baby’s name engraved on the back!

I am excited to say I am looking forward to meeting him more than I am scared now (which has been the main feeling until recently), and to witness the incredible innate power the female body posesses of giving life to another being. It’s quite amazing; my body has just grown this new human on its own, and I have done nothing actively to make him grow. I have just been fortunate to be his home for all this time, and feeling both proud and nervous to “share” him with the world.

My thoughts are the same regarding the birth itself. Body will know how to birth him with the help of contractions and surges – or waves as I like to see them 🌊🌊🌊 I cannot think of a more natural thing than birthing. I imagine it will be beyond any physical pain I have ever experienced. And I do expect both tearing and other issues. But I also imagine it will be the most empowering experience I can have as a woman, as the hormones and biology takes over, and I get to be right in the eye of that storm and join the millions and billions of mothers who have given birth before me. “All” I have to do is stay present and breathe into every sensation. Body will know what to do. It was literally built for this to happen.

Art by unknown. Please let me know if you do!

I recently learned about the Ferguson reflex (also known as the foetal ejection reflex), which is:

“The neuroendocrine reflex comprising the self-sustaining cycle of uterine contractions initiated by pressure at the cervix or vaginal walls. It is an example of positive feedback in biology. The Ferguson reflex occurs in mammals.

Upon application of pressure to the internal end of the cervix, oxytocin is released (therefore increase in contractile proteins), which stimulates uterine contractions, which in turn increases pressure on the cervix (thereby increasing oxytocin release, etc.), until the baby is delivered.”

It’s great to know about this innate reflex. It works almost like a vomiting reflex, ejecting baby out. So, in any case, baby will come out one way or another, no matter the approach I choose. It is and has been a bit like navigating a jungle trying to find out how I wish to do my own personal pregnancy, and it will be a challenge to go with the flow during delivery.

I have been very adamant that I will use and need an epidural, if being in water will not work for me. I think it would be of great help to deal with the pain. But the downsides of this drug is bugging me a lot lately. It will make me quite immobile, have me on my back working against gravity and I will need a midwife/nurse to tell when to push. Which will also increase my risk of tearing as I will not feel anything. Being upright in a squatting position makes more sense to me, and it will maybe make it easier for him to find his way out. But again, we will see when the day comes! 🙂 One thing is for certain though, I want to try the gas and air (nitrous oxide) they offer 😄✌🏻

Have you given birth? What was your experience, and would you do it again?

3 thoughts on “A few personal thoughts before giving birth for the first time”

  1. Beautiful words Monica, you are right, it is such a beautiful blessing to go through this miracoulous bodily changes, transforming yourself in a cave of life. You just trust your body, it happens alone, you only need to trust, and enjoy it! My daughter was born in a sitting position, … Natural birth, she never felt stress (the heartbeat was always fine), i always tell her she chose to slide down the tobogan so, in a sitting position😁 but we made it!!! 💪Just do that. Your body, you and your baby and Karl have all the Wisdom of the Buddhas imprinted 🙏🏼 much lovely greetings!!! Pat


  2. Dear Monica, now i have a little bit of time to share you my humble advice…
    1. At the beginning dont make resistance to the pain, ride with it, maintain a meditative state of mind of observing without attaching. Allow you to attach and de-attach. Important is that you save your energies for the end. Feel all the caos and discontroll from a place of trust and feel free to go into it and out back. The pain indicates that the right process of opening the canal and pushing the baby down or positioning him in the right place is taking place. You trust and focus on on that trust. 2. Dont feel bad to accept an epidural. Try to do it without it as it doesnt interrupt the cycle of hormone-contraction-pain-opening. But, if it gives you a break to take more forces, go ahead and take it! It is not at all a bad thing. The process will continue. 3. When the pain come, try to relax your mouth 👄, or your lips, it makes a reflectory effect on the cervix. 4. Connect your heart energy to your babies heart and maintain the heart energy of your man as support. Trust your doctor and nurse, connect with their Buddha nature 5. The real pushing comes first at the end, when you need to put your force to expell the baby out. 6. It can also be that it goes very very fast and completely unexpected! Thats why we have wide hips… Babies shrink… And it all flows!! Its all 😍 love! I wish you the best birth expierence! It is certainl, different and unique for each mom! ❤️ 🌈 Love pat


    1. Thank you so much for these specific advices and words of encouragement. The relax my mouth thing is new to me, I will definitely try it 😁👄
      Sometimes during meditation practice I am able to connect with baby and his essence. I hope I am able to during delivery too.
      Thank you again ❤ I will tell you how it goes 🙏🏻 Big love and hugs, Monica xx


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